I just saw a hot homeless man
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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