i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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