Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We need to rekindle our bromance
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
