I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We need to get me chipped asap
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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