I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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