Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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