hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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