girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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