Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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