"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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