It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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