3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
