Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
what the fuck happened to the tacos
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
