I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
