OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
