why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
These tits shall not be calmed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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