we have pet lesbian snakes
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
