On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
