the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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