She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
