You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
