Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
