"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
