im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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