To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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