There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
