Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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