anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
