I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
