Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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