had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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