Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i've created a new STD.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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