How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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