even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
