Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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