you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
