The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
