great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
