Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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