I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
