It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
