I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
