Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
