He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
