There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
