Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
