My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
