She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
