lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
