What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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