Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
