No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
