i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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