C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
