pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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