I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
