Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im holly from the hills drunk
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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