I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
