All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
