i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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