Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
